Challenge 2 results & Challenge 3

Hey, everyone! You all did great on this challenge :) Here are the results:

Jazz
Spelling- A few missed words, but nothing too important
Grammar: Some missed punctuation, but otherwise great!
Storyline: Great Theme!!

Sweetred
Spelling- Not a misspelled word in sight.
Grammar: Perfect
Storyline- Awesome, but a little short.

Ninja
Storyline- Awesome
Spelling: Nothing noticable was missed
Grammar- great

Unfortunately, we have to vote someone off this round. And that person is...













































...Jazz.
Sorry to see you go, you're an awesome writer and we'll miss you. ):

Your next challenge, Sweetred and Ninja, is to write a story from the point of view of a criminal who has been in jail for 20 years and has just now been released. You decide whether he or she has seen the error of their ways, or is looking to stir up some more trouble.
Challenge 3 is due August 12th.
Good luck!
And remember, don't procrastinate ;)

Critiques for Challenge

Hello, all! ChattyChance here. The following is [sp?] the critiques for your stories.
I apologize for the delays, as the blog was acting kinda funky.

Zebra (Ninja)

Storyline:

Dott: Very good; The changes you made to the paragraph we gave were nice, even though they were small.

Chatty: Awesome! The suttle changes made went nice with the rest of the story. Great job. (:

Grammar:

Except for the intentional bad grammar (which we won't count as bad) Everything was great.


Spelling:
Dott: Perfect.

Chatty: Awesome. No spelling errors in sight.

Jazz's Story

Storyline:
Dott: Great, everything looks good.

Chatty: Wonderful.

Grammar:
Dott: Didn't see any problems. (:

Chatty: Awesome, everything was perfect.

Spelling:

Both: Perfect.

Shannon's Story

Storyline:
Dott: The fairies idea was creative, but I feel like you were bored while telling the story.

Chatty: Creative idea, but it seems like some emotion is missing.

Grammar:
Both: A few commas missing.

Spelling:
Both: Noticed 1 mistake; the word "used" was typed as "use"


Great job to everyone! And the first official challenged will be posted shortly.

Challenge One

Challenge one

Hey everyone! Welcome to Challenge one! :) 

It needs to be sent in to Dott & Chatty by Wednesday July 14, 2010
Be sure to read the rules if you haven't already!

http://girlsenseforum.heavenforum.com/current-events-f42/writing-contest-rulessign-ups-starting-now-t9334.htm

For this challenge, you will be taking this paragraph and adding to it to make it a short story. You will all be assigned a genre. You have to use the genre that you're assigned to to write your story.
Here are your genres:

Duckie:Drama
Jazz:Thriller/Horror
Ali:Action/Adventure
Ash:Mystery
Meg:Crime
Shannon:Fantasy
Zebra:Science fiction
Team Gale:Drama

Misery Business: Crime

And here's the paragraph you'll all use as a starting point :)

I wiped the beads of sweat off of my forehead and looked up at the sky. It must have been at least a hundred degrees outside. It wasn't usually this hot.
I sighed and started walking. My bags felt like they were a thousand pounds heavier than they were five minutes ago. The streets were barren, and everyone was either inside their homes sitting in front of their air conditioners, or at the pool. But no, I had to walk home from work because my car was at the repair shop. Joy.
I was almost home when I walked past an alley. When I peered inside it, I could have sworn I saw a shadowy figure standing at the back of it, watching me. I heard something that sounded like a gun being loaded as it turned its gaze away from me and to something it was holding. I began fast-walking towards my house.

Good luck, everyone!

Wednesday July 7th, 2010: Warm-up critiques

Okay, here are the critiques for Jazz & Shannon's stories! (:

"Okay, your challenge this time is to write a short story about a necklace. The necklace must have significance in the story.

The story must be one of these genres: Science fiction, Action/Adventure, or Thriller/Horror.
Your short story needs to be at least 15 good-sized paragraphs long. You will be judged on grammar, spelling, and the quality of the storyline. You will have until July 5th to complete this challenge."

***

"Count Your Blessings" by Shannon

 "All of these thoughts rushing through my head. Should I tell someone? Should I get rid of the necklace? Is this person out to kill? Why am I so scared?" 

How do you feel about the Storyline?

Dott: Pretty good! Just a little bit predictable, though.

ChattyChance: Wonderful, but I agree with Dott, I could predict some of the things that were going to happen.

Grammar?

Dott: It seemed as though she was bored the whole time she was telling the story. I didn't see one sentence that ended with an exclamation point, except for what the police officer said. Missed a few commas here and there, otherwise awesome.

ChattyChance: Once again, I have to agree with Dott. Not enough emotion was shown. And also, a few commas were missed here and there. Other than that, everything was perfect.

Spelling?

Dott: Perfect.

ChattyChance: Not a misspelled word in site. Great job!

***

Jazz's Story

"So here I sit, alone with the eldest daughter. Telling my story, trying to drown out her bloody screams. And yet no one has wanted me. So tell me one thing. Do you darling? Do you want me?"

How do you about the Storyline?

Dott:Really good! I would have never thought of putting the story in the necklace's point of view. Very creative. 

ChattyChance: Very creative. The the POV (Point of view) at which the story is told is great.

Grammar?

Dott: You forgot a comma in some places. You put a "was" where a "were" should have been a few times, too. You also put a "make" when I think you meant to put "may". You said "gave" instead of "given".

ChattyChance: Agreeing with Dott. (:

Spelling?

Dott: You spelled bitter and soul wrong. Other than that, perfect.

ChattyChance: A few mistakes here and there, but nothing too major.

Great job to Shannon & Jazz!!! 

June 26, 2010: IMPORTANT UPDATE

Just wanted to let you know that the first round of the competition will be a warm-up round because on of the competitors will be out of town. So, it won't count, but you still will get critiques.

Check in at the forum tomorrow, June 28, 2010, to get your entry.

Thank you!!

ChattyChance

GU Writing Contest Judge

Girls United Writing Contest

Welcome to the site! ChattyChance here. This is the official website of the Girls United Writing Contest! Sign-ups are still open over at the forum. If you haven't signed up... please do. This is going to be a great contest.

The following members have signed up:

 Duckie,Jazz, alligator, Sweetred, MrsMcCartney[Meg], Tom'sMyHusband/Shannon, Zebra

If you haven't signed up, please do!!

http://girlsenseforum.heavenforum.com/current-events-f42/writing-contest-rulessign-ups-starting-now-t9334.htm

Sign-ups mill be over on Sunday June 27.

You will come here for critiques and results here, while the Writing themes will be over at the forum.

PM your entries to ChattyChance and Dott, or e-mail them to girlsenseforumcontest@gmail.com 

(Though we would prefer that you PM them.)

Check back often for updates, and get your first entry theme at the forum on June 27!!